Please Know...

As I come to know these fine people, they share with me more of their personal and sensitive stories. Their collective story is what I am trying to share with you as my way of breaking the stereotypical beliefs that exist. "Blog names" have occasionally been given to me by the person whose story I am telling. Names are never their actual names and wherever I can do so, I might use the opposite pronoun (his/her, etc.) just to help increase their privacy.


Saturday, May 19, 2018

Dear Daughter's Dad,

Dear Daughter's Dad,

May I ask you a question?  I really would like to know if you don't mind sharing your answer.  If you'd rather not tell me, that's fine too…  I'm asking you because I'd like to know what it's like…  I don't have nor will I ever have a daughter (or son) to call my own.  For the record, I do have one wonderful emotionally adopted daughter.  I'll never know the joy of looking into a child's eyes and knowing she's part me.

It may seem like an odd question but it's on my heart and mind. 

What went through your heart and mind the first time you ever saw 'Dad's Daughter' as a little girl try to put on makeup? 

You may have laughed a bit when you saw lipstick on her chin and forehead and not on her lips or blush in her ears and not on her cheeks.  I'm guessing that you wished she'd not grow up so fast.  Maybe you jumped ahead in your mind to her young adult years when she would know how to do this and be doing so for wonder filled reasons.

'Daughter's Dad', I saw 'Dad's Daughter' today. 
                                                                               
It was mid-afternoon.  She was standing next to and facing the side of my Chevy Uplander.  She was leaning in toward the passenger side back tinted window and gazing intently at her own reflection as she applied her makeup with the skill of any woman about to go on a date with her Prince Charming. 

It wasn't hard to spot a tear welling up in her eye that I could see from my vantage point.  There was no joy of anticipating a nice night.  This was a tear of sadness, self-condemnation, and fear.

I gently approached her and inquired…  "I see a tear 'Dad's Daughter.'  May I ask?...  Why are you crying?"

Without looking at me, she continued her task so as not to be delayed in meeting her first 'date' for the day.  "I have to go humiliate myself," she says with a tone of self-disgust and disbelief that her life has moved in this direction. 

She tries to convince herself and me that there's an understandable and justifiable reason for her afternoon plans in which she finds no delight.  "I need my medicine."  To further convince herself, she adds: "I'm already getting sick."

A few days before this, 'Daughter's Dad', as she and I sat at her home on the sidewalk under the railroad overpass, 'Dad's Daughter' told me how much she really loves you and her whole family.  She shed tears of love on that day, not tears of fear as on this day.

She's told me on several occasions how much she loves you and her whole family.  She's asked me to assure you of her love even though she is not talking to you right now due to the shame she feels in her soul, the very soul you brought to this earth in the moment of her conception.[1]

I do what I can to help 'Dad's Daughter' know of her goodness and her worthiness to be treated with dignity, honor, respect, and love.  I try to gently share the news of our Loving LORD but my words fall short of what's needed to convey God's never absent love.  I can't even find the needed words to convey to 'Dad's Daughter' your love kept mutually alienated by that burnt bridge between you.

Thank you, LORD for giving Steven Curtis Chapman the words he needed for his life story that so aptly fit the needs of our life story with and our love and care for 'Dad's Daughter.' 

Daughter's Dad:  As you read the following, read it from your perspective and then read it as if from God's perspective.

Dad's Daughter:  As you read the following, read it from your Dad's perspective and then read it as if from God's perspective.  Finally, try to read this a third time as if you have just written it to yourself.


Only One and Only You
        
I caught you looking in the window at your reflection and
I could see you were unimpressed
I watch you wither like a willow at what you think are imperfections
When you compare you to all the rest
And I wish I could find a way to make you see you the way I do
So I wrote this song for you

You’re better than a Beethoven symphony
And Mona Lisa wishes she could be a masterpiece like you
More than any Michelangelo
When I look at you I know
There’s no other masterpiece like you
You are the only one and only you

There is music in your laughter the world has never heard before
You came and brought a melody
The way you say it the way you see it
When you’re sad and glad and so much more
All these gifts only you can bring
I know that right now everything that you feel says it’s just not true
So I’ll keep reminding you that

You’re better than a Beethoven symphony
And Mona Lisa wishes she could be a masterpiece like you
More than any Michelangelo
When I look at you I know there’s no other masterpiece like you
You are the only one and only you

Wonderfully, carefully woven together by God’s own hand
And you’re better than a Beethoven symphony
And Mona Lisa wishes she could be a masterpiece like you
More than any Michelangelo
When I look at you I know there’s no other masterpiece like you
You are the only one and only you
You are the only one and only you[2]



 Dear Daughter's Dad and Dad's Daughter,

You are Dad and Daughter just as much today as you were when blush was being cleaned out of ears.  Tear down that burnt bridge. Build a masterpiece of a new bridge of relationship so as to once again hear the symphony of Dad and Daughter Love between you.

Daughter's Dad, What went through your heart and mind the first time you ever saw 'Dad's Daughter' as a little girl try to put on makeup?  I'd really like to know.


May 19, 2018



[1] or brought into your world in the moment of her adoption
[2] Songwriters: Steven Curtis Chapman: Only One and Only You lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

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